Wierd Science

Normal day, let me be aware of the treasure you are. Let me learn from you, love you, bless you before you depart. Let me not pass you by in quest of some rare and perfect tomorrow. Let me hold you while I may, for it may not always be so. One day I shall dig my nails into the earth, or bury my face in the pillow, or stretch myself taut, or raise my hands to the sky and want, more than all the world, your return.
~Mary Jean Iron

I have received several status inquiries so I thought I would write to share all is well in the Johnson Zoo. After an exciting summer of stitches and casts, Fall has blown in a wonderful season of the mundane. We are quietly enjoying routine schooling, a normal schedule of social activities, and just a plain, ol' boring existence any zany zookeeper could appreciate.

This year, we have the privilege of sharing science with another homeschool family. It's perfect blend of personalities and there is nothing like the pressure of a group presentation to motivate little workers to put their best foot forward. This week we tackled a unit Drewy creatively coined Thar She Blows. Socrates said, “Wisdom begins with Wonder,” so I teach science accordingly. What better way to explain the force of geysers than to drop a pack of Mentos candies into a two liter bottle of Diet Coke? I couldn't think of one so we handed everyone a bottle and marched seven curious kids to the backyard for science class. There are lots of scientific explanations for the reaction that occurs when you drop the candy into the drink, but all anyone cares about is the fact that it results in a twelve foot stream of soda. We started with one Mentos and quickly worked our way up to seven candies per bottle. I'm sure the neighbors were watching us through their windows wondering what craziness were up to now. A yard full of kids dancing in Coke Fountains makes quite a din. We decided it would be best to take our fun inside before the neighbors got jealous of our fun and decided to call the cops... or worse, the Home Owners Association!

The other half of our time was set aside for volcanoes. We watched an interactive video and completed diagrams. The geyser demonstration is a pretty typical science lesson at our place so the kids were itching for some action. I handed them each a miniature water bottle and instructed them to chug. “You now have your magma chambers and conduits. What comes next?” It doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out that ooey, gooey messiness is right around the corner. I love science!

It takes a lot of clay to make a volcano. Multiple that by seven and I decided it would be economical to make our own instead of buying out Wal-Mart. It's just salt, flour, and water. It couldn't be too hard. They sell the stuff for fifty cents a pop. I know that during my elementary education, we made (and admittedly ate) play dough. Nowhere in my memory was it noted that it required a culinary degree! That's what I get for strolling down memory lane instead of pulling up the recipe before hand. I consider it an act of love (and safety) to avoid cooking for my family but I had revved these kids up and wasn't prepared to tell them science would have to wait while I ran to the store. I decided to bite the bullet, conquer my fear of the kitchen, and whip up a couple batches of the stuff. It's not like they would be eating the stuff, I reasoned, and I had a friend manning the fire extinguisher, if necessary.

Note to self: In the future, skip the heroics, bribe everyone with ice cream, and run to the store for several cases of play dough.

Cooking science concoctions should never, ever be done by the seat of your pants. It turns out that play dough is not just salt, flour, and water. Kids carpet cement also needs Cream of Tarter. What the heck is that? Is that a like Cream of Mushroom? Turns out it's not even a stinking soup. It's a crazy expensive concoction sold at gourmet food stores! Obviously, not going to happen on my shift.

Plan B: Improvise. Skip the mystery sauce. We dumped the ingredients into a mini cauldron and began stirring. And stirring. And stirring. Not once did the instructions warn that when you quintuple the recipe, only Superman can stir it. It took two grown women, one wrestling the cauldron, and me, snapping spoons, to mix this pot of death. We have studied states of matter and I am pretty sure that we invented a new one. After a long hour and several promises to never, ever do this to my friend again, the kids were served hearty portions of mystery gook and instructed to start building volcanoes.

The kids were less than enthusiastic about making their volcanoes. Our dough, with it's funky texture and color, may have shared disquietingly similarities with diaper treasures. Get over it. We made the stinking dough. Now stick your hands in the warm muck and squish it into the shape of a cone. Now. Please. I feared my scientists were going to defect but thankfully the appearance of measuring cups brought our group back to life. Drop a Mentos into Diet Coke and you get flying cola but mix red vinegar with baking soda and you get ooey, gooey, lava.

It all started off very controlled. Really. We prepared the colored vinegar solution in a large container and carefully topped off the volcanoes. Each child presented facts about specific types of volcanoes. Our science may be messy and fun but it is educational! Our little scientists then dumped a measured scoop of baking soda in and enjoyed their instant eruption. It started off perfectly. It was a well controlled, science demonstration... if you don't count the play dough part.

You can't plan for everything. A heaping tablespoon of baking soda was responsible for the chaos that followed. The bubbles overwhelmed the catch all cookie tray and flowed onto the floor. Nothing major, until the moms were distracted with clean up and the container of baking soda was mysteriously dumped into the vat of vinegar. Boy did those bubbles fly. Mountains of ooey, gooey bubbly ooze cascading onto the floor. Who knew science could such good, clean fun? It was unfortunate that Daddy chose that particular moment to check on us. Most unfortunate. I am confident the educational content of an experiment is directly related to the amount of mess it generates but Chad is unconvinced. Sure, a dinky little eruption might have made the point but there are now seven children in the world who will never forget what happens when you mix vinegar with baking soda. The world is a better place and the kitchen floor is now squeaky clean because of our experiment.


For the record... No children were hurt in the making of this Chronicle. Regular soda works just as well in the geyser experiment. Diet is simply less sticky. And, it has been brought to my attention that Cream of Tarter can be substituted with equal parts baking soda and baking powder. Live, Explore, Enjoy!